Realization

I know why I feel so uncomfortable and impatient when the guy stops texting or calling! I don't have the control. Many times I have been the one to stop texting of calling because I felt there was no way he could not know why I was upset or didn't care to speak with him. So people don't always know what you're thinking? They don't always see eye to eye? Shocking (sarcasm)!!

t seems harder to get over when I don't have the control or answers. That makes sense

So, here's the question-do we owe each other a reason or answer? Similar to a dating report card. It's feedback that they (or I) can use or not use. Sure, it might sting to hear, but might also encourage growth or reveal a pattern. It definitely would supply closure. Would dating be easier with an exit interview?

I

Memories

Earlier in the week, I noted that I miss when my Papa used to ask me "How's your love life?". I would giggle and tell him I didn't have one. When I first fell in love, I could finally answer that question.

Shortly before my Nana passed away, I started wearing one of her rings on my right ring finger. I placed that ring in her casket the day we buried her. To this day, when I am disappointed or upset by a guy that finger aches.

I like to think that she is either comforting or warning me, possibly both.

This week, I felt both feelings. Euphoria from being treated so kindly and an aching in my finger from disappointment. They have been a great reminder of my love for my family as well as the notion that small things like sayings can make the biggest impact. We never know when those memories will come back and comfort us.

I prefer the euphoric feeling of course. I tend to trust face value. I get swept up in feelings quickly. I bet that my love language is words. They can either tear me down or build me up. I place a high value on them. That's the funny thing about words, too. They can be said without truth, logic, or action and still be held with great regard for some. Others take time for them to be shown. At times, I wish I were more of a gift or action love language, but that wouldn't be authentic either.

All I know for certain is that I am single because I do not invest more time than is needed once I feel disappointment. Especially if it is not actively being fixed. One of my biggest pet peeves is being ignored. I tend to worry that something has happened most of all. Then, i worry that something has gone wrong. After that, i just start getting upset and angry. Once I'm there, the thrill is dampened.

I am a great girl with a lot of things going for me. I make myself, my family, and friends happy. I will make a lucky man incredibly happy one day.

Until then, XOXO

You know what rocks?

Being asked out by phone!

It's been such a long time since a man has made that effort and it makes me feel special.